Friendly reminder: We are not a traditional "family" and do not go places for "family activities". This blog is written to review our experiences from our own unique perspective, that of a couple in their late 20's and their small dog.
Christmas-Christmas Time is Here
Last weekend we went to the Christkindlmarkt SLC at Heritage Park. I can't talk Dutch into doing holiday stuff for the life of me. Last year his friends were BOWLED OVER by the fact he let me put up a tree and decorations. So being able to do this was kind of a big deal. I'd been gaming with some friends from Bristol earlier in the week and they were talking about the Christmas Markets they went to around London the weekend prior and all the good food and drinks and music, I got so excited, but I honestly shouldn't have expected a place so far from Bavarian Homeland to resemble what they described. We decided to go on Thursday night, since there would be a lantern parade and it being a school night, we assumed less people.
Boy. Were. We. Wrong.
The market wasn't close by, a 30 minute drive w/out traffic. It took us an hour to get to the park, and about another 30 minutes to find parking. We brought Sandor, thinking it would be delightful for him to come have treats and see the lights and music, but immediately realized our mistake when he could barely stop shivering enough to walk. We carried him up the hill from where we parked and entered the market.
There must have been at least 800 people at Heritage Park that night. It was 28F, dark, and the "heaters" scattered about were fires dying out quickly in containers not meant for distributing heat well. Children screamed and cried as their parents attempted to take photos of them in front of significant sites like the 14 foot Christmas tree in the courtyard, teenagers pushed violently through the crowds and lines, I think my foot was run-over by at least 20 strollers as entire families decided to pass right through the line for Hot Chocolate to get to their destination on the other side. That line, by the way, was about 40 people deep, as was every other warm treat vendor's stall. It took 20 minutes to get hot chocolate, and then they charged $5 a cup and wouldn't take debit for less than $20.
It was only 7pm and most of the vendors were out of their more popular wares. I was interested in buying a large construction from Candy Everything as a centerpiece for a Christmas party we plan on hosting for friends, but the largest pieces were all sold, including a 15" tall pirate ship that would have looked PERFECT next to our sidebar at the hot chocolate service table.
Dutch and Sandor towed behind me in absolute misery, so I finished my hot chocolate and we got the heck out of there. The night was a supreme failure. The market goers were rude, selfish people. The weather was too unexpectedly cold to be enjoyable. The vendor booths were too small to see at a glance and figure out the treasures inside without fighting the crowds to get in and too crowded together, so that one booth crowded the two beside it as well.
None of the vendors we encountered were doing anything "authentic", or being particularly cheerful. I was hoping to encounter people sharing century old hot chocolate with their customers, telling stories about how their Great Great Opa and Oma discovered the secret, and teasing the children about how they'd never figure it out in a hundred more years. No storytellers. Dancers, yes, but even they looked miserable. All this added to the blaring PA soundtrack of an OomPaPa Christmas made our trip a nightmare.
All in all, if you ARE a parent, uncle, aunt, grandparent, or older cousin and you plan on bringing children to a Christmas Market in the area, please send someone ahead to do research. Go during the daylight, dress for colder weather than predicted, and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DONT BRING A STROLLER. Get a baby backpack if you have to.
If you're like Dutch and myself, either make it to the earliest hours or don't go at all. Bring cash if you plan on buying ANYTHING and maybe take a Xanex before entering the grounds if that's your thing.
I know there have been/are other Christmas Markets around SLC, and I know not everyone's experience at them are as awful as I've described it. Tell me about your own trips to the Off-Bavarian Wonderlands, what did you like? What did you learn? What will get you back there next year or what will keep you away? I'd love to hear your stories!
It was only 7pm and most of the vendors were out of their more popular wares. I was interested in buying a large construction from Candy Everything as a centerpiece for a Christmas party we plan on hosting for friends, but the largest pieces were all sold, including a 15" tall pirate ship that would have looked PERFECT next to our sidebar at the hot chocolate service table.
Dutch and Sandor towed behind me in absolute misery, so I finished my hot chocolate and we got the heck out of there. The night was a supreme failure. The market goers were rude, selfish people. The weather was too unexpectedly cold to be enjoyable. The vendor booths were too small to see at a glance and figure out the treasures inside without fighting the crowds to get in and too crowded together, so that one booth crowded the two beside it as well.
None of the vendors we encountered were doing anything "authentic", or being particularly cheerful. I was hoping to encounter people sharing century old hot chocolate with their customers, telling stories about how their Great Great Opa and Oma discovered the secret, and teasing the children about how they'd never figure it out in a hundred more years. No storytellers. Dancers, yes, but even they looked miserable. All this added to the blaring PA soundtrack of an OomPaPa Christmas made our trip a nightmare.
All in all, if you ARE a parent, uncle, aunt, grandparent, or older cousin and you plan on bringing children to a Christmas Market in the area, please send someone ahead to do research. Go during the daylight, dress for colder weather than predicted, and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DONT BRING A STROLLER. Get a baby backpack if you have to.
If you're like Dutch and myself, either make it to the earliest hours or don't go at all. Bring cash if you plan on buying ANYTHING and maybe take a Xanex before entering the grounds if that's your thing.
I know there have been/are other Christmas Markets around SLC, and I know not everyone's experience at them are as awful as I've described it. Tell me about your own trips to the Off-Bavarian Wonderlands, what did you like? What did you learn? What will get you back there next year or what will keep you away? I'd love to hear your stories!
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