Monday, July 16, 2012

Apologies and an Announcement:

Okay. I'm the worlds WORST blogger. My apologies. But occasionally, I will post gems. I've been busy since moving in early 2012, new job, school, BILLS (bleh!), and the feeling I've been missing the point. Now I'm back in the small town of which I am so fond. I feel like it's the same, but as in life, the friends I've had have mostly grown out of our relationships. It's not impossible to reconnect, but it takes a lot of effort in some cases. In others, it's as easy as a lunch date, or running in to them while out and about. But I miss the few a lot that are so hard to find time together with.

Anywho, it's almost time for the next chapter in my life. Melody in the Big City, Act II. I've accepted a job down in San Antonio, which is so different from living on my own in
Arlington before, where I was less than an hour from  home. Now it takes the better part of a day to drive back for a visit. But I'm very excited to head deeper South. I love Southern living. My Spanish is a bit rusty, but I like classic Texas a lot. I know almost no one there, and I'm very anxious to see how this all plays out. "It's all happening," as 'Penny Lane' always says. The feeling is familiar, but somehow very fey in the same instance. Life. It's happening. All one can do is happen with it or watch it through the windows.

People and the Old, Familiar Places:

I haven't seen my friends from Arlington in almost a month, and I've all but severed my strongest tie to the city. I feel I moved for the wrong reasons, and I realized that my original decision to stay as close to there as possible was made for the same general reason. So, I've reset the board, and now the only person calling the shots is me.

In the meantime, it's great to see the people who've missed me. Even the ones I'm not entirely sure are friends. Some seem like less, and some seem like even more. All confusions aside, I'm glad they still smile when they see me. I'm glad I still smile when I see them. My parents seem happy enough to have me around, even though I seem to help out as little as humanly possible. I'm a terrible kid, I know. But somehow they still love me.

Returns and Reunions:

In 9 days, one of my best friends returns from his mission in Mexico. (If you haven't noticed by now, I'm LDS - I'm not the most straight-lased saint, but I usually have good intentions.) I've missed him something terrible, and every time a song by Weezer plays on my iTunes or the radio, I sing out loud extra-hard as a symbol of how much I miss his humor, his face, and his terrible driving. I'll probably only get to see him once or twice before I move, as his family will be hogging most of his time. Then after I move, he'll leave to return to school in Idaho. Sad, but true. We'll still be great friends though.

I just heard from a friend that my dear friend Alex is home finally from South America. I hope I can see him at least once before I leave! His twin brother, Spencer, I've seen once since his return, but we didn't get any real chance to catch up yet. These two boys were Godsends in my young life. I would have never survived all those years of teenage drama without them.

Then there's another who will be home in November. I don't want to say too much about him, but he's a very dear friend and I will definitely be making a special trip home to see him, if only for a little bit, before he returns to school in the Spring. My thoughts are with this particularly dear friend every single day. I just hope little has changed between us in the last 2 years.

I've been so excited about the return of so many friends I used to spend all of my time with, but so disappointed out how much they've changed in so many instances. Don't get me wrong, the fact that they've served for 2 entire years is amazing, and I don't wish they hadn't at all. I just wish that the bonds of friendship had been a bit stronger when they left, so that we could weather time a bit better. I'm going to serve a mission myself sometime very soon. I'm scared and excited about it. I know it'll be an experience I will never forget or regret at all. But I also don't want to come home to find all of my friends have grown apart and no one likes me anymore. I know, that won't likely happen, and if it does, I'll just make new friends. But it's not a pleasant option to be on the table.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds exciting, and you'll make an amazing missionary.

    ReplyDelete